An Old Man´s Complaint Jan Hauenstein

(Em) (Em7) (Em6) (C) (D) (D2)(D) (Em)
When I woke up in the night
I´d hear the (Am)call of the (C)wild,
Full of (D)danger, (C)pleasure (D)and ad(Em)ventures.
These (A)days, when I fall from (G)sleep´s (Em)ladder
Most (F)times it´s the call of (F9)my (Em)bladder
Makes me (C)grope half-(D)blind for my (E)dentures.(E7)

And it´s not (Em)funny,(Em7) (Em6) it´s not (C)funny at (Em)all,
The (B)way I have to answer(Bb)(A) na(G)ture´s (Em)call
In the (C)wee wee (B7)hours, the (C7)dawning (B7)of (Gm)the (Em)day,
For the (A)birds noi(Bb)sy (B)screams
Won´t let me (C7)go back (B7)to (Gm)my (Em)dreams
That are (A)shapeless and (B7)fuzzy and (Em)gray.
(Dj7) (Cj7) (Fj7) (Em)

My meals come on wheels,
Now, (Am)that´s a lousy (C)deal
For a (D)man who (C)used to (D)love to (Em)eat.
The (A)girl who brings (G)the (Em)food
Is (F)nice and plump (F9)and (Em)cute,
And she (C)tells me that (D)brown lump there is (E)meat.(E7)

And it´s not (Em)funny,(Em7) (Em6) no, it´s not (C)funny at (Em)all,
Some (B)days I´d rather bang my head (Bb)(A) against (G)the (Em)wall
(C) Than (B7)wolf down those (C7)lukewarm (B7)mashed (Gm)po(Em)taoes,
Or that (A)rice, should I (Bb)re-(B)boil it
Or (C7)flush it (B7)down (Gm)the (Em)toilet?
That (A)seems to be the (B7)way my (Em)life goes.

And there´s a (Dj7)hole in the bed
(Cj7) Where she´d lay her head.
No, (Fj7)I won´t pretend I loved her (Em)much,
(Gj7) But I sure miss a woman´s (Bbj7)touch.
(Dj7) (Abj7) (Em) (D) (D2)(D) (Em)

Well, the doctor let on
All of (Am)that would be (C)gone
(D)After that (C)little (D)ope(Em)ration.
The (A)doctor, well, (G)he (Em)said
That (F)scene would (F9)be (Em)dead.
(C) Little did he (D)know my imagi(E)nation.(E7)

And it´s not (Em)funny,(Em7) (Em6) it´s not (C)funny at (Em)all
The (B)way yesterday´s lust still (Bb)(A)holds me (G)in (Em)thrall
When that (C)lady from next (B7)door (C7)visits (B7)me (Gm)for (Em)tea,
And my (A)brain shouts, (B)‘GO!’
But my (C7)body (B7)answers, (Em)‘No,
No, brain, (A)no, for I´m (B7)old, I´m old, you (Em)see.’(Em7) (Em6) (C) (D) (E)

When I (Em)woke up in the night
I´d hear the (Am)call of the (C)wild,
Full of (D)danger, (C)pleasure (D)and ad(Em)ventures.
These (A)days, when I fall from (G)sleep´s (Em)ladder
Most (F)times it´s the call of (F9)my (Em)bladder
Makes me (C)grope half-(D)blind for my (Em)dentures.
(Dj7) (Cj7) (Fj7) (Em) (Gj7) (Bbj7) (Dj7) (Abj7) (Em)

Jan Hauenstein, Goettingen, 25 March & 1 April 2005

janhauenstein@gmx.de

www.janhauenstein.com